


State of Decay

by PastaBucket



Category: State of Decay (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Zombie Narrator, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-04 03:50:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18335603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaBucket/pseuds/PastaBucket
Summary: What if everyone was a zombie?(Please don't read - this story will likely be terrible.)





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing that heralds the presence of a zombie, is the smell - a putrid stench of somebody who hasn't showered in months.  
...or, if they're shuffling about, it could also be the contant obnoxious groaning.  
...but if you think the body odour is bad, just wait still you get a whiff of their putrid breath. Lizards never brush their teeth, and their bites are therefore so infectious that they're lethal weapons, and they're not even zombie lizards.

...so never get bitten by a zombie.

I'm a zombie, by the way. Never let me bite you.

You may ask yourself, how I can write and stuff. The term you're looking for is "high functioning" zombie. You'll be amazed what zombies can do. Never let a handicap like rot put your down. Writing is my special talent, though. Most zombies can't even capitalize or punctuate.

Since a while back basically everyone's a zombie, and somehow life just goes on as usual. Society is slowly collapsing, of course, but a lot of us still show up for work and clock in. Zombie employees serving zombie customers. It's a mess most of the time, but that's okay - nobody's complaining about the service, and there's nobody alive to complain to either.

...so that's basically it: We're all living dead.

See you next week.


	2. Chapter 2

For a zombie, I'm pretty good at the whole zombie routine where I stumble around groaning. I like to groan, but my mom is embarrassed over it. "Why do you groan so much? People are looking at you!" Well screw you, mom!

Speaking of groaning, have you ever wondered why we're all about the brains? I mean we eat flesh, but the brain is encased in the skull bone, so you've probably never seen a zombie actually eat a brain. Well, that's just because zombies hate people with brains. ...which is unfortunate, because since I'm fairly good at writing, I have to have a brain, and so there's this whole zombie class discrimination thing going on, where everyone wants to eat me because I still have a brain. This whole obsession with brains is really weird.

Anyway, so that's why zombies are eating my flesh on a daily basis. This whole week they've been taking huge chunks out of my legs - it really hurts, and makes me groan and shamble a whole lot more.

...so yeah. See you next week or something, for more zombie news.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sitting here, groaning. They ate my back during the night, but my legs are fine now. I don't remember the last time some part of me wasn't missing, but that's just zombie life, I guess. I'll grow it back eventually, I guess.

Okay, so: Groin rot. Groin rot is perhaps the worst part about zombies. There's always this slime between my legs, festering on my balls. ...and if you think that's bad, then wait 'til you see the ladies. My first partner put the "pus" in "pussy". (Ba-dum tish!) Seriously, though: It was all squelchy down there, but I guess dead people can't complain. If you're still alive, though, and you're stupid horny, then stay clear of zombies, okay? It's not just the brain eating part that you should worry about.

My kitchen is just filled of rotting things. I should clean it up so that I can eat my flesh with some imagined dignity, but first I should try to wash the worst rot away in the showers in some vain attempt at personal hygeine.

See you next week for more zombie news, and "like, comment and subscribe" or something. Gotta keep an eye on those zombies so we don't eat you and your children, you know. ...or give them groin rot. Yeach!


	4. Hospital Groanings

I've been zombying around more than usual today.  
I started the morning by zombying my way to the hospital, where I groaned a lot. The zombie doctors took three bites out of me before I left, and then I zombied my way home and collapsed from the bloodloss.

When I woke up I immediately decided to look for survivors, but those clever bastards had hidden themselves, so it took almost two hours before I found them. All six of them tasted like waffles, but they shot me in the head. That made me groan extra hard, and my eyes rolled back into my skull as I staggered home to my zombie lair. I tried to collapse again, but the headache was too strong, so here I am, writing about my day again while my wounds heal up. Head wounds are the worst.

I gotta say I kinda like being a zombie. I like to moan and groan at people, and drool and stagger around. It makes me feel like a man. One of these days I'm gonna drag home a real live cute girl, and eat her as she screams.


	5. Chapter 5

Another day. Another groaning rampage. If I wanted to spin things, I could say that I'm a master groaner, but that would be completely retarded, even for a zombie. ...but mostly I've just been laying around, collapsed outdoors, which I guess is even more retarded, because the fungi is really killing me. Haha, that was a joke.

The bite in my hip that I got from maybe 3-4 days ago, is sure taking its time to heal, and I'm generally pretty fatigued, but you know, what can you do? I feel like these are my last days, but I'm probably a bit overdramatic.

Saw some tasty-looking humans today, but decided that they weren't worth taking on in my sorry state.

...so yeah. See you around for another boring chapter of zombie life, where I will no doubt be groaning some more. I wonder where I'll get bitten next. Stay tuned to find out.


End file.
